escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
