dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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