can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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