I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I wish i was in the wii world.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
