So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
