I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
