is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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