God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
