people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
