somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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