haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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