If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
