people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
