but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
