he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So vagazzling was a success
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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