I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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