I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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