i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize