you guys were way drunker than both of me
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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