If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
