Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
