I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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