You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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