I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
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wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
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If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize