oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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