Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
