I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
