it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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