how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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