Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
