we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
