I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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