It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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