If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
