i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Randomize
