I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
