Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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