i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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