Can i not drive my cunt home
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
