very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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