so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
