this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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