I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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