are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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