SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
