I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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