i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
