what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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