Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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