Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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