My first STD was from a foam party
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
