so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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