So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize