do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
