i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
