If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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