i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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