i don't like sucking hair
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
