3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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