Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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