Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
