Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
