It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
