East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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