I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
