she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
